Moving On

i didn't even intend to post anything on my blog now but yeah i just can't hold the urge to write right now haha at least i'm updating this poor blog.

so i was just scrolling through my ask.fm after leaving that site for months now. and of course other than questions from anonymous who asked me to post a picture of my armpit, there was another shocking thing that i saw.. after months of cutting contact with each other, just now he appeared on my timeline out of nowhere from someone else's account. not really surprised looking at him taking picture with another girl, partying in club and smoking and shit (not literally ya hahaha ew). okay, not a really big deal since i have moved on fyi.

oh right, for those who don't know about it yet, i was in a long-distance-relationship with this guy for more than 1 year then shit happened (a lot of times actually lol) and i just couldn't stand it anymore so we broke up sometime around this early 2016.

to be very honest, i might sound like i'm making a fuss about it right now but really, it's all like what i expected. he's 'that' kind of guy and i'm glad that i'm no longer with him cause i really felt like i was too innocent and blinded by love until i got fooled so easily. i was dumb enough to believe everything he told me, like "i'll be a good boy just for you" that means no smoking, drinking, flirting, whatever. but meh, as i grow older, i soon realized how naive i was.

have you ever heard the saying "good girls are just bad girls who are not caught". yep, i can relate to that and people say relationship is based on trust. yea, i can relate to that too. so the thing that probably kept us together that long was trust and how good we were at hiding things. as you know we were in two different places in two different time zones. anything can happen and neither of us won't even know what kind of shitty things we do behind each others' backs.

oh well, like i said before, i'm not so surprised anymore, it's all expected.

now i just have to make sure not to get myself blinded and fooled by such 'bad-but-good-but-bad' guys so easily. i deserve someone much better and this goes the same to all of you who probably have experienced that kind of situation: love yourself more and don't ever let anyone takes you for granted.

and for you, i have lost faith in you. i might still love you, probably. but i gotta love myself and respect myself more over someone like you. this is probably one of the best decisions i have made in my life.. so.. i am moving on and i choose not to go back again.

thanks for everything tho. you've made me a stronger and wiser lady.

PS: now that i know you're such a real asshole, let me confess my (brutally) honest thoughts about you. the only thing attractive from you is probably just your physique (excluding your face). you used to look quite fine with that old hairstyle of yours, yea i really like it. but now that you've changed your hairstyle. your hair looks shit, what a major turn off. that's actually a great way to help me move on faster. LOL i'm gonna chuckle on this one.

"courage, dear heart"
19/May/2016